University of Northern Iowa Athletics
My Story Matters: Johnnie Hill
10/27/2020 8:00:00 AM | Women's Soccer
The first time I experienced racism is one that I will never forget.
I was in elementary school, just a kid. One of my friends was having friends over. I expected an invitation, but it never came. Finally, she told me that I couldn't come. Her parents didn't like black people and since I was black, I wasn't allowed to set foot inside their house. Isn't it crazy to believe that because of the color of my skin it determines whether or not I am welcomed in someone's home or not?
This is incredibly new to me, being able to sit down and tell my story. I feel as though for the first time in my life I am actually being heard like my story actually matters.
As I sit here writing this, I don't even know where to start or begin but all I know is that I can only be honest and true to myself and tell my story of what it was like growing up as a black girl in a predominantly white community.
For those who don't know, I am biracial. I have a black dad and a white mom. Growing up my parents always instilled in my brothers and me that you always treat others with kindness and respect no matter what background someone comes from. Even though I grew up in a pretty good community and did have great times, I did have my fair share of bad experiences as well. I remember the use of the N-word being thrown around, confederate flags being flown on the backs of trucks, and even being followed to my car after an athletic event while being taunted by parents from an opposing team.
In high school, the N-word would be used throughout the halls and classrooms occasionally, racist "jokes" about black people, making assumptions about black people, and so many more racial microaggressions. There were times where I felt infuriated.
I felt infuriated because there were people in positions of authority who could have done something or said something but they didn't. None of those issues were ever addressed.
It felt as though this behavior was tolerated. It made me feel as though people didn't care when it came to the topic of racial discrimination or racial injustices, which made it even harder to feel accepted as a black girl. In those moments, I didn't realize how much of an impact those comments and experiences had on my own image of myself. I felt as though just because I was a black girl I would have difficulty being accepted by some of my peers.
Sports have always been my outlet for everything. Once I was in high school, one of my goals was to play college soccer. With hard work and determination, came success and I committed to playing soccer at the University of Northern Iowa. Because I was athletic and good at sports, I felt as though I became more accepted by my peers.
Don't get me wrong I did have good experiences as well while living in my hometown. I had a lot of friends and made great memories, but there were certain experiences that clearly showed people's biases and racism. Often they made little effort to hide it.
Being in college, I feel as though I have found myself and most importantly I feel as though I have found my voice. This year has been such an eye-opening experience for me. The tragedies of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and so many more struck me to my core. In the past, I've been one who doesn't say much and is pretty quiet. But it's time that we all do something and say something when we see something that isn't right. For so long black people have been unappreciated and underserved in this country.
As a student-athlete, I believe it's very important for us to use our voices and platform for those who don't have one. This is so much bigger than sports and it's time that I stand up for myself and others as well.
I was in elementary school, just a kid. One of my friends was having friends over. I expected an invitation, but it never came. Finally, she told me that I couldn't come. Her parents didn't like black people and since I was black, I wasn't allowed to set foot inside their house. Isn't it crazy to believe that because of the color of my skin it determines whether or not I am welcomed in someone's home or not?
This is incredibly new to me, being able to sit down and tell my story. I feel as though for the first time in my life I am actually being heard like my story actually matters.
As I sit here writing this, I don't even know where to start or begin but all I know is that I can only be honest and true to myself and tell my story of what it was like growing up as a black girl in a predominantly white community.
For those who don't know, I am biracial. I have a black dad and a white mom. Growing up my parents always instilled in my brothers and me that you always treat others with kindness and respect no matter what background someone comes from. Even though I grew up in a pretty good community and did have great times, I did have my fair share of bad experiences as well. I remember the use of the N-word being thrown around, confederate flags being flown on the backs of trucks, and even being followed to my car after an athletic event while being taunted by parents from an opposing team.
In high school, the N-word would be used throughout the halls and classrooms occasionally, racist "jokes" about black people, making assumptions about black people, and so many more racial microaggressions. There were times where I felt infuriated.
I felt infuriated because there were people in positions of authority who could have done something or said something but they didn't. None of those issues were ever addressed.
It felt as though this behavior was tolerated. It made me feel as though people didn't care when it came to the topic of racial discrimination or racial injustices, which made it even harder to feel accepted as a black girl. In those moments, I didn't realize how much of an impact those comments and experiences had on my own image of myself. I felt as though just because I was a black girl I would have difficulty being accepted by some of my peers.
Sports have always been my outlet for everything. Once I was in high school, one of my goals was to play college soccer. With hard work and determination, came success and I committed to playing soccer at the University of Northern Iowa. Because I was athletic and good at sports, I felt as though I became more accepted by my peers.
Don't get me wrong I did have good experiences as well while living in my hometown. I had a lot of friends and made great memories, but there were certain experiences that clearly showed people's biases and racism. Often they made little effort to hide it.
Being in college, I feel as though I have found myself and most importantly I feel as though I have found my voice. This year has been such an eye-opening experience for me. The tragedies of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and so many more struck me to my core. In the past, I've been one who doesn't say much and is pretty quiet. But it's time that we all do something and say something when we see something that isn't right. For so long black people have been unappreciated and underserved in this country.
As a student-athlete, I believe it's very important for us to use our voices and platform for those who don't have one. This is so much bigger than sports and it's time that I stand up for myself and others as well.
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